01 March 2006

becoming the bionic woman

there's a car parked outside the door to work, with beads hanging off its passenger mirror. you know you had a good mardi gras when your car got beads.

i didn't go out for mardi gras, even though i was invited. repeatedly. near begged. but i begged off (as an aside, it bugs me when i use the same word in a sentence, or in two consecutive sentences, as i just did there, but for some reason that's not bothering me. interesting.).

yesterday was "results of the mri" day. i won't bore you with medical jargon and descriptions of my psyche plummetting, but suffice to say, today, for the first time in, um, well near an aeon, i was out of bed by 8am, and not three minutes later my celly was ringing. it was my neurosurgeon. now there's about a thousand calls i don't particularly want at 8:03 in the morning, but i'll have to admit, while i've got a bit of a crush on the guy, he's topping the list. right up there with "policemen," "hospital," and "bill collectors."

bottom lined, i've got an appointment monday at 11 in virginia. an hour and some away. so i'll go home over the weekend, see babies, stay with my family, and instead of coming home, just go straight from their house to the appointment.

i'm frustrated beyond words. i'm 31 years old. i have bones fusing together, and degeneration. i drank my milk motherfuckers! did someone LIE? what the shit?

here's my fantasy: i wake up one morning, and nothing hurts. nothing aches. nothing spasms. i don't groan when i climb out of bed. i don't have to shift positions every few moments to gain relief of aching or spasming. i don't have to throw down painkillers every few hours like it were candy.

is there such thing as a spine transplant? yeah, sign me up for that, thanks.

cheburashka arrived today! it mades me so happy. i love him. he's a cartoon character from russia. well it's stop-animation, and he's sooooo adorable! and has the cutest little voice and i have NO IDEA what he is, but i think a mouse?? i don't know, sigh. but look! so cute!!


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