14 August 2006

Not that I'm popular or anything...

All right, stalkers. I see the traffic report on the site, and see that I've had a few too many visits lasting 5 seconds or less. I can deduce that means the internet is checking my site for updates, finds none, and leaves (I am now picturing the internet as a being with its own computer, perhaps god-like in appearance, except it's androgynous, and probably has cool dark-framed glasses and a soulpatch. I guess that makes it a guy. I'm digressing.)

I have a handful of things on my mind right now - how to go about getting pregnant (I know how thank you, I just mean, by whom? IVF? Is it wise? Can I afford it? Am I off my rocker?); whether payday will arrive soon enough so that I don't run out of groceries (monthly paychecks are a bitch); why I've sunk into an ambivalent state of mind as of late (if it's not a book or a crime show (CSI, NCIS, etc), I'm totally uninterested); what the repercussions of Evgeni Malkin fleeing his Russian team will be (I really fear for his safety, as well as his family's); but mostly, just where has my drive gone?

Over the weekend, the computer flipped its lid again, and no I still have not been able to install the new hard drive, since none of the boot or OS disks I have seem to be the right kind and keep refusing to install WinXP or even really boot, and periodically, the computer just gives me the BSOD, shuts down, and then refuses to re-boot into Windows. Or if it does, it hangs. This was the whole purpose behind buying the other hard drive, which is, essentially, serving as a paperweight, and frankly I can't be assed to mess with it. Some friends of mine are "computer people" (I used to be one of those...) and have offered to set it up if I bring it over, which is lovely, and they live less than 10 miles away, but I just can't be assed to go. I've stopped caring about a great many things - one of which is my ability to use my computer at home - and that's really an all-encompassing utility at my house. It is how I write everything but the grocery list. Fiction, budgets, blogs, emails to the family. And the fiction muse has lately been pointedly tugging my ear and insisting she has something to say, something for me to write, but I just can't seem to bring myself to care enough to write, or to even get to a place to write.

Today's a horribly slow day at work - the kind that would be perfect for doing some writing (not unlike, oh, say, this?) and yet here I sit, 4 hours to go, and my thoughts are not "where should I start the piece" but rather, "how many more blogs can I read, and visits to Fark can I make in the next 4 hours, and will something sufficiently interesting pop up on any of them?"

I just can't be assed.



ETA: Moments after hitting "Publish Post" I realized how pathetic it is to write an entire post
about, essentially, laziness and lack of motivation.

6 comments:

Aeroplanic said...

Tippy wants a bay-bee:):):)

Go have a crazy one night stand with a foreign (he'll go home you never need see him again!) handsome, genius who's awesome at hockey and have the resulting talented, beautiful offspring!

Or...not.

gizmorox said...

I'm a stalker, I'll fully admit. I'm just as bored as you, clicking through everything I have to click to see if there's something new to read.

All it takes is getting out of the house once to find the motivation to keep going. You've just got to dig up the motivation to go that once. I have faith. Yoooo can dooo it!

p.s. - I listened to Percy Hill for the first time in years yesterday. It's still really good!

Tippy said...

a: you set 'em up, i'll knock 'em down.

g: but i don't WANNA leave the house. and further, i have no money! i like being a shut in damn it!

it is isn't it?! =D

gizmorox said...

Yeah, I don't have any money either. Pretty much sucks. And hey, if you don't want to leave the house, it's perfectly fine to stay in. I would sit with a glass of whiskey and watch Navy band practice over the fence.

Though I think you should leave the house and come visit me. I'll take you to the beach where we can mack on vacationing college boys. Maybe for spring break. It's nice here in March :)

bibliokate said...

I'm a stalker, too. I don't blog, I count on my friends blogging to keep me entertained.

I have 30 francs until payday on the 27th, that's about 24 bucks. I fucking hate being broke, but at the same time, I don't know what I would do without debt, either. The idea of being debt-free scares the crap out of me. 30 francs should cover my groceries til the end of the month. I just need milk, yogurt (about four francs a week) and then fruit/veg. All right, never mind, it won't happen, I'll be dipping into the overdraft again.

I don't know if my blogger id will work anymore. Let's see if I can post.

Tippy said...

Kaaaaaaaaaaate. Write in your journal, Kate!

(not you, fucknut! although you too, come to think...)