24 August 2006

Teh Cute!!

Tonight, with a hangover crouching on the edge of my consciousness, and a headache threatening to pound into my skull as a result of killing too many braincells mid-day, I bring to you teh cute! I read lots and lots of blogs with cute pets and cute kids and cute bloggers and, well, you may never see my photo on this thing cause it's pretty public and I'm, how do you say, paranoid. And I have no pets. I don't think the fruitflies and earwigs wandering the apartment count (OK earwigs? Grossest. Thing. Ever. Why are they called ear-anything? Do they go into one's ear? That's fucking disgusting.) So I bring to you - CUTE BABIES! I will now introduce my reading public (all 6 of you!) to my beloved Aiden and his adorable twin, Jonathan. The first person to say "but they don't look alike!" is permanently banned from reading me. Everyone say it with me: Fra-ter-nal twiiiiiiins.

Whenever Aiden spies me, this is the look he takes on immediately. "Oh Joy of Greatest Joy! It is the Lady Who Carries Me Everywhere! The Lady Who Sings! The Lady Who Sneaks Me Treats!" The caps are definitely implied. This child will lay on my stomach and play with my face, hair, boobs, arms, nose, lips, whatever, until, well, hell freezes over I imagine. I get tired of being poked, stepped on, elbowed, etc, and take him off. But his little face lights up the moment he sees me because he knows some good lovin' is on the way, including being carried on a hip pretty much everywhere. And often being taken outside, which he doesn't get very much of. We like to sit on the porch and rock like old people while he stares out at the world, listening and watching all the pretty bright colours. Every now and again, I will dare to walk away from the child. I wil *gasp* get up from his side and walk the fuck away! I will put him down, and walk the fuck away! How dare I leave him for nary a second to go pee, get a drink, make him a bottle, have a smoke, find my sanity. Oh I have mastered the art of pretty much all of this while holding him because sometimes? Sometimes you just don't want to hear the screams. And this one can scream. There is fair warning of the scream. The face of sadness, the trembly chin and bottom lip, the whimpering, the eyes welling with crocodile tears... And if he is not picked up within moments, then the screaming. Oh the screaming! The screaming that rattles the windows and shakes the walls and breaks your fucking heart because Oh My God This Child Is Not Loved Enough! Or so he'd have you think. But it happens a lot less. He's a much happier baby than he was when he was an infant. And when he gets smiling and laughing, he will talk your fucking ear off, and make you swear off all your promises to self to never ever ever procreate because children are just not worth it, if only you get a chance to hear a soul you created laugh so heartily and deeply.

Twins, Tippy. You mentioned there was another! And yes, yes I did. And yes, yes there is. Jonathan is such a good baby. He's always been a good baby, and lord above is he a flirt! But really? Really all I have to say about Jonathan, aside from his adorably pinchy cheekies, and his chubby baby fat legs, is... Oh My God With The Tongue! It is unbelievable that tongue! He can touch his nose people. I suspect he can lick his own chest, but he has not attempted to do this. Between the dimples and the tongue and the gorgeous blue eyes, he will not ever want for girl(boy?)friends. Ever.

And lastly, because who doesn't love naked baby ass...

3 comments:

chelene said...

They're really cute, Tippy. I think twins are awesome. We have a set (boy and a girl) in my family too.

Tippy said...

It means double baby ass! Who doesn't love baby ass! Well. Clean baby ass anyway.

Anonymous said...

Nice fuckable ass